ender

Today I heard the baby's heartbeat. So, it's really true --- we're having another baby. It's funny how months of nausea, a growing belly, and all the unmentionable symptoms of early pregnancy never truly convince me that there is actually a little person in there. Well, now I know for sure. There is a little heart beating at 152 beats per minute inside a little bitty baby inside my expanding tummy. Weird. In two weeks we will find out if it is a little boy heartbeat or a little girl heartbeat! So exciting!!!

Here's a picture of Chris and I toasting (with sparkling grape juice OF COURSE) the night we found out I was pregnant.
Since we're pretty sure that this is our last baby, I've been trying to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible. Too bad it's the worse pregnancy I've had . . .

I've come to the conclusion that while it is certainly NICER to be a stay-at-home mom while pregnant, it is actually EASIER to be a working pregnant mom. The distractions of work kept my mind off the nausea, dizziness, aches, and exhaustion while also keeping me active. People think librarians just sit around and read all day, but I did a lot of standing and walking when I worked. I was also on a fairly regular schedule so I ate at normal times --- and I actually remembered to eat!! It's not that I really forget to eat now . . . but sometimes after feeding the kids I'm just not interested in putting any effort into feeding myself. Hello, Pretzels!
Also, though I did do some lifting at the library, it was nothing compared to the hundreds? thousands? bazillions? of times that I pick up a 25+ pounds of squirming toddler during my day as a stay-at-home mom. And I never, ever had to wrestle a 28lb toddler out from under a table at the library.

Of course, there are advantages of being at home. I nap almost every day while the kids are napping (and I enjoy every single one of those naps immensely!), I get to wear comfy sweats and t-shirts ALL the time (this is probably even higher in my book than the naps!), I can take the kids on walks in the middle of the day, and I get to hang out with my two silly chickens all day!

Conclusion: I'm glad to be pregnant at home, but I wish the kids weighed a lot less.

life before kids

Sometimes I like to revisit my old blog (www.xanga.com/borkerts) to be reminded of what my life in KC was like before kids. After scrolling through seven blog pages of Flora pics and videos, there are actually some amusing little gems. Here is a story that made me laugh:

*****

August 30, 2006

WOW, I took BOTH dogs in to Petsmart tonight by myself to get their nails clipped and ears cleaned. It was quite a trip. I was laughing the whole time b/c I knew how ridiculous I looked. At one point I was . . . um . . detained in front of a van full of people as I tried to regain control of my dogs. The people all just stared open-mouthed as the leash was wound around my legs and I was twirled in a circle right in front of them, arms flailing, of course. I just smiled and shrugged . . . what else can you do?

Well, train them would be one alternative, which is what the Petsmart cashier politely asked me about. "Are they in training?" "Yes, we're training them to systematically destroy everything they come into contact with. It's going quite well."

I was definitely NOT in control--a fact which a police officer was kind enough to point out as he drove past me in the parking lot. "Thank you, Officer, I'm glad to know I'm such a spectacle that you felt the need to point out to me just how inadequate my doghandling skills are." Was he under the impression that I THOUGHT I was in control? I'd like to see him try to handle these two monsters.

But then on the way home Toby stood next to my seat (I was driving the van!) and laid his head in my lap the whole way home while Sadie smiled at people out the back window.

*****

Unfortunately for her, Sadie did not make the baby cut. She was given to a nice family soon after Flora was born. Toby doesn't know it, but his days with us are numbered. *evil laugh* Anyone interested in a lovable, adorable, highly intelligent German Shorthair Pointer???

The funny thing about this story is that I have been in strikingly similar situations in just the past few months. Substitute two kids for the two dogs and subtract the leashes and it sounds a lot like some of our recent outings. Of course, I wasn't taking the kids to get their ears cleaned and nails trimmed . . . although now that I think about it, it WOULD be nice to pay someone else to do those jobs for me!!

a ladder to the sky

On our walk today, Flora discovered the clouds. It's not that she's so terribly unobservant, but it's hard to notice the clouds when you are trying not to fall on the ice. We are finally ice and snow free! Time to notice the wonders of Spring!!

This is the conversation she had (mostly with herself) after "finding" the clouds:

Flora: Clouds SO high. FloFlo can't reach dem!

Mommy: Yep, they're too high to reach.

Flora: Hmm, FloFlo need big ladder. Get big ladder and reach the clouds!

Mommy: *laughing* A big ladder, huh?

Flora: *nodding seriously* Yes. Dat good idea, Mommy. FloFlo do dat.

too much information

Flora is convinced she has a penis.

She will walk around the house holding a chunk of her diaper between her hands saying, "Look my penis!" I guess it's only natural since she bathes with Scout (who does, in fact, have a penis) and often asks, "What dat is, Mommy?" when Scout is naked. I was caught off-guard the first time she asked this question and hadn't yet considered what terms I wanted my children to use for their body parts, so I just told her it was a penis. I think I'm happy with that split-second decision. Maybe I could have thought of something more age appropriate for a 2-year-old if I'd thought more about it, but at least it's not an overly goofy, made-up word that will just embarrass her later in life.

Note to parents of very young children: Start thinking NOW about what you want to label these body parts. The question will sneak up on you, I promise!

We had to stop Daddy-Daughter potty times because one day Flora grabbed a little chunk of diaper between her legs, stood "in position" in our living room, and said, "Daddy do it dis way!" while pretending to go pee-pee. We laughed. I know we shouldn't have, but sometimes the funny bone overrules the smart-parenting bone . . . or whatever.

So, back to Flora's penis. She often talks about her penis despite the fact that I consistently tell her that she does NOT have a penis. (By the way, you definitely know that your daughter is faking symptoms when she tells you that her penis hurts.)
Recently, she's starting asking what IS under her diaper, since I'm always so adamant that it is not a penis. For some reason, breaking out the V word with a 2-year-old is awkward. I felt weird about it, but thought it would be weirder to use different standards for naming boy-parts and girl-parts, so I just went for it. Flora tried out the word and decided she liked it, but unfortunately still prefers to think she has a penis.

It's probably just wishful thinking. After all, Scout always has something to play with in the bathtub! ---that was probably too much information!

In fact, I'm fairly certain that this whole post is too much information, but that's what happens when you become a mom. All sense of decorum is left in the delivery room and you start discussing things with strangers that you never would have mentioned pre-kids. Actually, I think this begins during pregnancy when things like dilation and one's uterus suddenly seem to be acceptable topics for polite conversation. If someone who is not a mom asks you how you are doing, you should probably just stick to generic, safe responses like "okay" or "a little tired" or "pretty good." That's really all they want to hear. However, if it's a mom asking the question then go ahead and spill all the juicy details because chances are good that she did the same thing when she was pregnant.

a shocking lack of discipline

I'm fairly certain that the goal of discipline isn't to make your kids laugh or to make them ignore you. Since these are not ideal reactions to disciplinary measures, I know I'm doing something wrong. But what?

I think my biggest problem is that my kids are pretty well-behaved kids. They are pleasant and usually play together sweetly, so I don't get to practice discipline beyond a stern word often enough (not to mention the fact that our house is SUPER child-proofed so there's not much opportunity for them to get into trouble!!). So, now that we've established that the kids are the problem and not me, let's figure out how to fix this problem. :)

Spanking seems to work for other people and I'm sure it would work for me too, but there's a tiny problem with spanking in our house. Flora sees me spank Scout and then she feels that it is her responsibility to spank Scout when he does something that she doesn't like. And then I am caught in the conundrum of whether or not to spank Flora for spanking Scout. It could easily turn into a never-ending cycle. I spank Scout, Flora spanks Scout, I spank Flora, Scout spanks Flora, I spank Scout, etc . . . you can see how that could get confusing. "Who is spanking whom today?" is not a question I want to add to my daily list of things to worry about. I'm also in the process of teaching Scout not to hit people in the face, so spanking seems like I'm sending mixed messages. *sigh*

Time-out would be great if it worked. I have occasionally put Flora into time-out (her room with the door shut) and she doesn't want to come out of time-out! Once I said, "If you do that again, you will have to go to time-out." Her eyes lit up and she skipped to the door of her room and said, "Time-out! Time-out, Mommy!" Not exactly what I was going for . . .

Expressing displeasure works for the little things, but it doesn't help when there is blatant disobedience taking place. Of COURSE she knows I'm displeased and she doesn't really care. These are the situations where she needs to be spanked.

Maybe I should just start taking them to another room to be spanked??? I can't really think of a place for time-out that would really seem like a punishment to Flora. Are there other options besides spankings and time-outs?

And then there are the situations where Flora is disobedient but with really sweet intentions. Like today she found Scout's little red nighttime dog and wanted to take it to him while he was napping. I told her, "No, do NOT go into Scout's room. He's sleeping." But off she went down the hall with me hissing "Flora NO!" behind her. (Hissing so as not to wake Scout, not hissing because she might obey if she thought I was a snake) Flora thought Scout needed his dog and burst into tears when I pulled her out of Scout's room before she could give him his dog. I was upset (REALLY upset because she woke Scout up when he had JUST gone to sleep) but it WAS a sweet gesture on her part. Oh, what to do, what to do . . .

I don't know . . . disciplinarian is just not my strong suit. I need to get better at it because the older they get the more they are going to need to be disciplined. I also need to work on that "mom voice" that stops kids dead in their tracks and compels them to obey. Was that what they taught during that week of child-birthing class that I missed??? --because that should definitely be in the curriculum if it's not already.

Now I DO have a voice that can stop Toby in his tracks when he's being a bad dog, but he's experienced the shock collar so he KNOWS I mean business. Hmmmm . . . no, I guess that's probably not a good idea. :-)