just felt like writing......

I still can't believe Flora said "penis" in church . . . that has got to be the worst possible thing that any parent could imagine their 2-year-old daughter blurting out in a church setting.

But anyway . . .

Flora goes through phases in which she gets attached to a particular object and wants to take it to bed with her. We recently graduated from the sippy-cup-full-of-water phase and are now in the middle of the Kleenex phase. She just wants a Kleenex to hold in her hand when she goes to sleep. Last night, shortly after putting her to bed, I heard pathetic whimpering at her door. I went to the door to try to figure out what she was saying and realized she was crying because "mine Kleenex has a hole in it." The situation was easily taken care of by providing her with a new, hole-less Kleenex. She is also sleeping with her toy cell phone right now. Other phases she has gone through include books, balls, various dolls, a plastic Easter egg, a toy spatula, a monkey, a My Little Pony, and others that have escaped my memory. The Easter egg was one of my favorites. I would put her into bed and she would hold out her little hand and whisper, "My egg, my egg, Mommy" until I put the egg in her hand. Silly kid.

Scout is currently fascinated with "Daddy's bed." I guess 1-year-olds assume that Mommys don't sleep. First thing in the morning, Scout will request to go to Daddy's bed and all three of us will hang out in Daddy's bed for a little while---usually until Scout wakes up enough to start taking flying leaps from one parent to the other. Two days ago, Scout woke up extra early so I let him look at Flora's new Dora coloring book while Chris and I tried to sleep a little bit longer. As we dozed for an extra ten minutes, Scout was busy decorating Chris' back with stickers from the Dora book. It kept him entertained and neither of us realized what he was doing until we woke up later (woke up to him jumping on us, no doubt). So, Chris woke up to a back covered in Dora . . . something I'm sure he never would have imagined happening to him pre-kids.

"the PIANIST" or "my most embarrassing mommy moment to date"

I think I earned another badge for my parenting vest tonight.....let me set the stage for my most embarrassing parenting moment ever:

Our church is hosting the Southwest Association meetings for the North American Baptist Conference this weekend. Basically this means that pastors from churches in Kansas, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Missouri are using our building to hold association business meetings. Tonight the church hosted a banquet for everyone with a speaker to follow. Tables and chairs were set up in half the sanctuary and the food was delicious. Unfortunately, childcare was not available until AFTER the banquet. Things may be different next time we host the SWA meetings.......

So, here's the funny part ---

Our pastor, Dennis, stood up with a microphone right in front of our table and gave a brief welcome before opening the evening in prayer. During his welcome, he announced that a member of our congregation was a very gifted PIANIST and would play a piece before the meal. Flora was sitting directly in front of Dennis as he was talking. As he made this announcement, she looked at me, snickered, and said, "PENIS?"
Ohmygosh......
I turned pink and told Flora to "shh" but kept a straight face. Thinking I hadn't heard her properly, she said, "PENIS, Mommy?"
Did you know that 2-year-olds only have one volume when they talk? Just because everyone else is silent does not mean that they will speak in hushed tones. I was probably a bright fuchsia at this point and again hushed Flora but my straight face was quickly cracking. (By the way, if you're curious, you can read a whole post about why Flora even knows the word "penis" here.)
The final straw came when she giggled, pointed at Dennis, and said, "Mommy, that man say PENIS!"
Luckily, Dennis chose that moment to start praying so I had an excuse to hide my bright red face while I composed my silent giggles.

I don't know if anyone understood what Flora was saying. I only asked two people and neither of them had heard it, but I'm fairly certain that Dennis must have heard her. Whether all 50 people heard her or no one heard her but me, I was definitely embarrassed. Once we arrived home, Flora and I had a little talk about how we only talk about penises at home. She flippantly said, "Oh, okay" but I have a feeling she's going to embarrass me again someday with that word.....
Of course, Scout couldn't let me have my most embarrassing moment with Flora alone, so he decided to push the loud buttons on his little truck in the middle of Dennis's prayer -- just to be sure that EVERYONE in the room knew that there were toddlers present.
Now, I don't want to seem like a know-it-all or a pushy mom so all I'll say is that none of this would have happened if the kids had been in the nursery during the banquet......just sayin'.