nothing they say surprises me anymore

Some funny and just plain weird stories:

I was explaining to Flora and Scout why they shouldn't play with the outlets.  I talked about electricity and how it would shock them and feel like a big poke (what they call a shot).  So when I was done with my lecture, Flora nodded and nonchalantly said, "It's too bad we can't just put some poop in it" as she walked away.  Baffled, I asked for clarification but didn't understand her response any more after she'd explained it.  "Yeah," she said, "it would be better if we could just put some poop in it and it wouldn't hurt us."  I'm still confused about this.....

The kids video chat with Chris' parents a lot on his iPad using Facetime (like Skype).  Today I was watching a youtube video about the Denver Broncos.  Scout walked up to the computer just as they were interviewing Tim Tebow and watched for a minute before waving and saying, "Hi!" to Tebow.  A few seconds passed and then Scout leaned over to me and whispered, "Why isn't he saying hi to me?"  Haha.....apparently he thought we were chatting. 

And in related news, every time I watch a Broncos game or read Broncos news I start calling Timber "Tebow."  It's the T and the middle B that confuse me, I think.  Timber blows his nose now!  It's the cutest thing -- I need to try to get it on video.  He'll put the tissue up to his nose and blow air out of his nose.  Then he runs the tissue to me with a big smile and claps enthusiastically for himself after I take it from him.  Seriously.the.cutest.thing.EVER.   

A funny story that is not kid-related -- We have a light-sensitive timer for our outdoor Christmas lights that is supposed to kick on at dusk and off at dawn.  Totally cracked me up to come home the first night our lights were up to the lights blinking on and off.  Apparently our timer was placed too close to the lights themselves so they kicked ON and then the light they produced prompted the timer to turn OFF which then caused them to turn back ON and so forth.

Scout wanted to ask me a secret today.  I leaned over and he whispered, "Do you like panties?" in my ear.  "Uh, well, I like to wear panties," I answered.  Then he wanted to ask another secret.  "Mommy, are you wearing panties?" he whispered.  Seriously?  Haha.....I can totally embarrass him with this story someday!      

And a final funny story -- Chris just walked by and read over my shoulder briefly.  He saw the word "Tebow" and asked why I was writing such a long blog about Tim Tebow.  Then I got the giggles thinking about how funny that would be for me to write a whole post on Tim Tebow.  Chris egged me on by providing some opening sentences like, "I'd like to share about someone very special in my life right now....." etc. 

Hm....this was probably a "you had to be here" moment.  It doesn't really translate well to text.  And now it appears that I have written most of this post about Tim Tebow.  Oh well.  Woohoo!  Go Broncos!   

fifteen minutes

Tonight after I put the kids to bed I set the timer and lay down on the living room floor and accepted myself.  For fifteen minutes my house was clean enough, my kids didn't watch too much tv, I was crafty, and I wasn't a pound over my ideal weight.  I probably had perfect hair too.  No tv, no computer, no phone, and no music. 
Even when the kids are sleeping -- especially when the kids are sleeping -- I never stop to be.  There's too much to DO to just BE.  Every spare moment is filled with things I need to do or things I want to do or things I should do.  Or things I don't need to do or want to do or should do but that someone has asked me to do. 
And so for fifteen minutes tonight, I stopped to be.

I thought about our house.  I wondered how many families had lived under our roof.  What joys and sorrow had these walls witnessed?  Surely we were one of the lucky ones.  Life is pretty easy for us. 

I thought about how sad it will be to leave this house someday.  All of our kids were brought home from the hospital to this house.  They have colored the walls with giggles, wonder, and, well, crayons. 

I thought about Christmas and family and how thankful I am that my idea of home isn't linked to a specific house but to the warm feeling I get when I'm with my awesome family.  I thought about how these are really the best years of our lives.

I thought about Lois.  I humbly realized how blessed I am to have these fifteen minutes and wondered how she would have spent them.  I thought about all the conversations we had at the library when I was pregnant with Scout.  She asked so many questions about what it was like to be pregnant.  I never thought to warn her that being pregnant could take her life.  I cried a little.  I started humming the tune to "The Sharp Knife of a Short Life."

I thought about God's faithfulness.  I tried to find an adjective to put before faithfulness and couldn't think of anything that could really describe the extent of His faithfulness to my family.  I thought about His awesome, humbling Grace and His loving Wisdom.  I wondered how Jesus would have mothered three small children.  I decided his house always would have been clean....but then I decided maybe not.  I thought about Heaven and how nice it will be to live in God's house.

I thought about the popcorn ceiling.  A lot.  It's not ideal but I really don't think they're as bad as people make them out to be.  It's kind of like hair on the head of our room.  A buzz cut maybe.   

I thought about how I wanted to blog more often and decided I would blog about my fifteen minutes.  I wanted to jump up and start writing right away but I forced myself to stay on the floor until the timer beeps. 

I thought about each of my kids and how awesome they all are.  Flora, Scout, and Timber all have their little quirks, both good and bad.  I'm so thankful that I get to be the Mommy who knows each of those quirks by heart.

And then I heard the timer beep and I thought, "What am I baking?" 

deep thoughts with scout borkert

Scout:  Why do we give each other hugs before bed?
Shane:  Because we love each other.
Scout:  That's right!  Because Jesus fixed us!

****

Mommy:  Scout, what do you want to thank God for?
Scout:  The truth.

****

Scout:  Mommy, I'm at work.
Mommy:  Ok, what are you doing at work today?
Scout:  I'm at the church fixing the people that are broken. 

****

Haha.....I don't know where he gets this stuff!!  I don't recall ever telling him any of those things or even using those phrases around him.  I certainly don't tell him that Daddy is fixing broken people at work....silly kid.