Wednesday, July 9, 2014

boys (let it go)

I judged.  I know I did.
I would see little boys yelling and jumping and crashing and booming and pretty much spinning out of control and I would think, "I'm glad my boys are so calm.  I'm glad my boys are quiet and reserved."

They were.  They really really were.

But then they turned into boys. 

And now I finally realize that the best parenting, the best nurturing, the best intentions will not stop boys from being boys.  They will be too loud.  They will not sit still for long.  They will whoop and holler and wrestle and race and I will be tempted to yell at them to stop.  I will be tempted to regain a sense of control by calming their madness.  I will be tempted to put in headphones and lock myself in my room with a chocolate bar while mayhem ensues in the rest of the house.

But I won't.
(Well....I might have that chocolate bar....)

What I will do is realize that boys are loud and that's okay.  Boys have tons of energy and that's okay.  Boys play rough and that's okay.  Boys stink and laugh at toots and want to play with worms and dirt and that's okay. 

I will try my hardest not to shush them or calm them unless it's absolutely necessary that they be quieter or calm down.  Boys are just crazy bundles of loud energy.  Boys are also curious and adventurous and brave and eager for new experiences.  They calm down and focus when new and interesting things capture their attention -- not when I say "calm down."  What does "calm down" mean to a 5-year-old anyway?  (I'm pretty sure Scout thinks it means "keep doing what you are doing but do it in slow motion and include some slow motion sound effects")

I'm tired of saying "calm down."  Do I want them to sit politely on the couch when we have guests and make small talk with the grownups?  Well, sure, that would be cute for a while.  But they're made to play and explore and show off and have adventures and compete against each other for who can do the best jump.  They will have hours upon hours of "calm down" time once they're in school -- and they've both shown that they can behave very well (very calmly) in a school setting.  I'd like for home to be the place that they can cut loose and be boys and not be stifled.  

So....
New parents, parents of girls, parents of boys who are still in the sweet little toddler or baby stages, parents of only one boy (a boy's energy multiplies in the presence of other boys!  MULTIPLIES!), people who aren't parents, old parents who've forgotten what little boys are like, and everyone else that we come into contact with on a regular basis -- I apologize in advance for those times when my boys are jumping and yelling and bashing into each other and eating their boogers and squashing bugs and smelling like dirty laundry and looking like dirty laundry.
They're boys.  And most of the time I'm just gonna let it happen.




This is a new resolution on my part.  I thought blogging about it might help me remember to stick to it.  It's so tempting to try to control the Boy Madness.....why can't they just play My Little Pony or draw quietly for hours like Flora does???  Nope -- just gotta let it go and choose better battles.  A calm boy does not equal a good boy. 

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