the birth story

**ATTENTION**

Just in case the title didn't make it clear, this is Timber's BIRTH story. It's not graphic in my opinion, but there IS a chance that the words "cervix" or "placenta" will be used (actually, probably not "placenta" -- I can't imagine what I would have to say about that). If these words or the topic of birth in general disturb you then stop reading. Also, this is a very long post . . . but not as long as my labor so no complaining!! There -- now you've been given fair warning. Proceed at your own risk!

It was a dark and stormy night . . . but that doesn't have anything to do with the birth story because, despite my high hopes, Timber wasn't born on that night. He wasn't born the night after that either. In fact, we had to wait three more nights after that dark and stormy night before our little guy decided he was finally ready to meet the world.

I was due on Sunday, September 19th and became more and more grumpy as the 19th wore on and I realized that there would be no baby that day. I was not anticipating being overdue with baby number three! In fact, I was completely convinced that I would have him at least a week early. Obviously, he had other ideas . . . but I guess it's HIS big entrance into the world and he should be able to choose when he makes it.

I woke up at 4am on Monday, September 20th having contractions. They weren't strong but they were every six minutes apart. The doctor had advised me to come into the hospital when contractions were seven to ten minutes apart since this was my third baby, so I was immediately confused at how to proceed since I went from no contractions to contractions every six minutes. However, I knew they weren't strong enough to head to the hospital yet so I got out of bed, put the clean dishes away, and then wandered around the house for a bit before getting bored enough to head back to bed. When they didn't stop for several hours and started coming every four to five minutes apart I knew that today was probably the day -- although I was still confused because they just weren't very strong. We got the kids up and dressed, I called Mother and took a quick shower, and we headed to Stephanie's house to drop off the kids.

Days earlier I had googled "how long does a third labor usually last" and was startled to find a familiar thread through all the relevant hits google returned: "The first labor is long, the second labor is easy, and the third labor is unpredictable." This was the wisdom being shared around the internet. I chose to ignore this information and stubbornly believed that this third labor would be half as long as my second labor. My plan was to get to the hospital and have my baby boy delivered within an hour or two of being admitted. My plan was WAY off . . .

When we arrived at the hospital, I had been having contractions for six hours and they had been consistently four minutes apart for an hour or so. They took me to an assessment room and checked my cervix and I was only at TWO centimeters!! "Two?!?" I asked the nurse in disbelief, "that's no good!!" They left me in the room for an hour to see if there was any progression. After an hour I was two and a half centimeters so they gave me the option of being admitted right away or walking around for a while to try to speed up labor. I chose to walk, so Chris and I began pacing the halls of the labor and delivery wing. We walked and walked and passed the time by texting Stephanie about the kids. After an hour I was almost five centimeters so I got my IV and wristbands and was escorted to my labor and delivery room. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and various other machines and asked if I was ready for drugs. I opted for a dose of Stadol (sp?) which did absolutely nothing. Well, not nothing . . . it made me slur my words and allowed me to fall asleep for a few minutes between each contraction, but it did absolutely nothing for the pain. Basically, for about an hour I was transformed from woman-in-labor to drunk-woman-in-labor. Lovely. To emphasize how ineffective Stadol is, I will insert a short side story here -- As I was pushing, the nurse (probably to encourage me to keep going) told the doctors that I was doing this all with no medication/pain relief. I managed to mumble something about the Stadol and she waved off my comment and replied, "Oh, that stuff doesn't do anything and it wore off hours ago." I remember wondering why they even offer it if it doesn't help. Perhaps they find the slurred ramblings of laboring women on Stadol amusing??

It was about this time that Mother showed up and Chris said my blood pressure shot up. Ha! I was glad she was there so I don't think there was a connection between the two . . . but it was a funny observation! She arrived at the hospital at 3:30pm and things were starting to get intense. Note that it has been almost twelve hours since contractions started. According to MY plan, I should already be settled into my recovery room, perhaps contemplating a nap with my sweet little sleeping baby. But no . . . instead I was counting slowly to ten, reciting my multiplication tables, saying the alphabet backwards, and repeating the Lord's Prayer in an effort to take my mind off the painful contractions and stay somewhat sane. Of course, I was doing all these things silently in my head -- I didn't want the nurse (or Chris and Mother) to think I had completely lost it! It was also about this time that they noticed Timber's heart rate was dropping during contractions, so they gave me an oxygen mask and instructed me to lie on my right side only. From that point on, I irrationally thought that the contractions would be so much easier to handle if I could only turn to my left side. Also, Chris said I was a little bit psycho with my oxygen mask and would not let it slip away from my mouth/nose even the slightest bit. I probably just liked having something that I could control. I think the nurse eventually pried the oxygen mask from my hands during the pushing process. Otherwise, I might have still had the mask on in all the mom-with-brand-new-baby photos!!

If I had known ahead of time how long this labor would be and how big Timber was going to be I might have opted for the epidural. I didn't have an epidural with Scout because it was too late for one by the time we got to the hospital. Three hours after checking in, Scout was born. He was 6lbs 11oz and his head circumference was so small it didn't even make it onto the growth curve chart (don't worry, it's "average" now!). Needless to say, delivering an 8lb 11oz baby after almost eight hours at the hospital was a completely different experience. Why no epidural?? After reading lots of books and even watching a documentary on the hospital birth experience I was convinced that epidural = pitocin = c-section. I know this isn't always the case (I had an epidural and pitocin with Flora and no c-section), but studies have shown that one medical intervention often leads to the next in a snowball effect. Basically, once the doctors start "helping" you it is hard to get them to stop! Obstetricians are trained surgeons and many are more comfortable with performing a "safe" c-section than they are with letting the birth process happen naturally. Obviously, that is a general statement and there are many OBs who encourage drug-free childbirth, but in my opinion, the best way to have Timber was without an epidural. But they are very nice and I realize that what was best for me is not best for everyone, so I'll get off my soapbox now!! :-)

Overall, I think I was a very nice laboring woman. I only asked Chris to stop touching me once (and possibly Mother too???) and I think I was very polite about it. He did the one thing I had requested of him ahead of time -- he fed me ice chips. Other than helping me stay cool, there really wasn't much that anyone could do to help. Labor really is a good word for it, although it's really more of an internal struggle with the pain than actual physical labor. I'm glad I did it without the epidural though -- it's probably the coolest thing I'll ever do -- which is why I'm okay with bragging about it just a little bit. :-) "What a woman!" my nurse said in encouragement as I was pushing (Chris and I laughed at that later). She was very encouraging, but I was more encouraged by what Chris was saying to me. He was reminding me that I would never have to do this again! Now THAT's encouragement!!

Finally, after 13 hours and 40 minutes of labor (but thankfully only 20 minutes of pushing), Timber David Borkert made his appearance. The first words little Timber heard his Mommy say were, "Oh, I'm so glad that's over!!" At 8lbs 11oz, Timber was much bigger than 7lb 5oz Flora or 6lb 11oz Scout. He is a big boy and he just keeps growing! We are so happy to have Timber and feel that he really completes our family. He is such an easy baby -- he eats well, sleeps well, and only cries when he's trying to make a poopy (which I'm confident he'll outgrow eventually!).

Hooray for Timber! Hooray for babies! Hooray for not having any more babies!! :-)