The kids had a rare late bedtime tonight. I'm usually pretty strict about them being in bed by 8pm but tonight we were visiting friends with a new baby so we got home a little after 9pm. My job was simple: pajamas, diapers for Scout and Timber, brush teeth, bedtime. To the inexperienced reader it may sound simple but I knew that wrangling three kids who were already on a sugar high and a I'm-so-tired-I'm-out-of-control-zany high was going to be tough. For further reading on bedtime wrangling, see this post.
We had a plan. Upon arriving home, I would change Timber's diaper and put him in pajamas while Flora and Scout went potty and put their pajamas on. Then I would put Timber to bed and help them brush their teeth before putting them to bed. On the drive home I went over the plan with Flora and Scout several times to make sure they knew their roles. They were enthusiastic and I was optimistic.
*cue dramatic, ominous music*
We pulled into the garage and I unbuckled Timber and grabbed our makeshift diaper bag (a gift bag) and my purse and told the big kids to hop out of the van. Flora pretended to be asleep and Scout climbed into the driver's seat. Lovely. After much cajoling and warning of the darkness that would engulf the garage once the overhead van light went off, they finally walked into the house. We had to stop and start several times on the way up the stairs because Scout had to jump twice on every stair and Flora was scared of the dark house. Timber and my bags were getting REALLY heavy.
We finally made it up the stairs and Scout and Flora each ran to a bathroom (hooray!). Just as I was about to change Timber, Scout needed me to help him with his shoes. Then Flora started crying hysterically from my room because the bathroom light was off (she's going through a scared-of-the-dark phase -- obviously). I took off Scout's shoes and plopped him on the potty then scrambled to my room to assist Flora. Just as I turned on the bathroom light for her, I heard Timber take a nasty fall in the hallway. I rushed to comfort him and Flora started crying hysterically again and I noticed that Scout was now off the potty and running around naked. This was NOT the plan.
So....new plan. I changed Timber in the bathroom with Flora so she would stop crying and go potty. Scout running around naked was low on my list of issues for a few minutes. It's not like it's the first time he's been naked. Eventually, all of the kids were dressed for bed! Hooray! I put Timber to bed (one down, two to go!) -- he always goes to bed so easily so that wasn't an issue at all (best part of my night probably!) -- then went to help Flora and Scout brush their teeth. Of course, 10 seconds into the teeth brushing Flora fell off her stool and hurt her bum. More hysterical crying. I have to say that, in my experience, girls are MUCH bigger cryers than boys are.
Brush, brush, brush -- then corral them and all their bedtime stuff into their room. Read a book and goodnight. WHEW!
Oh, and I forgot to mention that somewhere in this 30 minutes of chaos Scout and Timber EACH managed to eat soap. Two separate occasions. Soap that has been in that bathroom for months now. Why did they suddenly decide to put the soap in their MOUTHS tonight?? And not even in a get-into-trouble-together-because-we're-brothers-and-that's-what-boys-do sort of way but individually in a I-think-I-should-eat-soap sort of way.
And then to top it all off, Scout says that Jesus is poopy.
"No, he's not," I say.
"But Baby Jesus went poopy in his diaper," Scout replied.
I didn't have anything to say to that.
He was right.
(Grandma, I doubt your pastor uses this one in a sermon!!)
It was a crazy evening -- I'm dieting and by the time all three kids were finally in bed I was FRANTICALLY digging through my purse for the sugar cookie that the babysitter had sent home with me. "Frantically" might not even be a strong enough word there.....I'm pretty sure I could have fought off ten strong men for that cookie.
But now all is quiet and I'm happily blogging (and feeling surprisingly little remorse about that cookie) and looking forward to tomorrow. Tomorrow is FRIDAY and this Mommy gets Friday mornings OFF!
Goodnight kids -- hello sleeping in late and shopping!
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