know your options

So, we received the bill for Timber's hospital stay.  Wow.  If I had known they were charging that much I might have requested a few more free coffees and granola bars.  Thankfully, insurance will knock a good chunk off the total.  I decided to have some fun with what was initially a very disheartening number.   

After scouring craigslist and ebay, I've compiled a list of things you can purchase for the price of a 5-day/4-night hospital stay:

A Pair of Small Cast Bronze Indoor Outdoor Giraffe Statues

a.k.a. Ridiculously Overpriced Tacky "Art"

A Hermes Birkin Bag

Someone please punch me if I ever pay this much for a purse.

A Fine Large Traditional Stained Glass Church Window

Yes, a LARGE stained glass window.  If only I knew someone who had recently purchased a church....

 Ancient Roman Marble Male Lower Torso 

Because you can never have too many of these on display in your house, right?

 Victorian Style Cast Iron Beautiful Gazebo

 Hm, well it looks more spacious than our hospital room.

 Lowe 180W 115HP Optimax with Side Imaging Sonar
I'm pretty sure Chris would have taken Timber to the local medicine doctor and bought the boat instead if he'd known....

 2003 Prostreet Custom Chopper
Yes, it's pretty.....but where would I put three car seats???

 2010 John Deere 2520
Ah, this is more like it.  There are tons of places to attach car seats on this one!  But would it fit in my garage??  And exactly how long would it take us to get to the grocery store??

 2003 Glastron, 22ft, with extended swim platform
If the fishing boat wasn't your thing then how about this pretty piece of marine machinery? 

And my personal favorite way to spend $19k....

 2005 Challenger 5th wheel w/3 slides
Seriously....how awesome is this????  

We could sell our house, travel the country, and grill every night.  What a life!

So next time the doctors recommend hospitalizing one of my children (well, hopefully there is no "next time".... but if there is.....) I'm going to ask about my options first.  Is hospitalization really necessary?  Could we possibly treat him on a custom chopper or in a cast iron gazebo instead?