just felt like writing......

I still can't believe Flora said "penis" in church . . . that has got to be the worst possible thing that any parent could imagine their 2-year-old daughter blurting out in a church setting.

But anyway . . .

Flora goes through phases in which she gets attached to a particular object and wants to take it to bed with her. We recently graduated from the sippy-cup-full-of-water phase and are now in the middle of the Kleenex phase. She just wants a Kleenex to hold in her hand when she goes to sleep. Last night, shortly after putting her to bed, I heard pathetic whimpering at her door. I went to the door to try to figure out what she was saying and realized she was crying because "mine Kleenex has a hole in it." The situation was easily taken care of by providing her with a new, hole-less Kleenex. She is also sleeping with her toy cell phone right now. Other phases she has gone through include books, balls, various dolls, a plastic Easter egg, a toy spatula, a monkey, a My Little Pony, and others that have escaped my memory. The Easter egg was one of my favorites. I would put her into bed and she would hold out her little hand and whisper, "My egg, my egg, Mommy" until I put the egg in her hand. Silly kid.

Scout is currently fascinated with "Daddy's bed." I guess 1-year-olds assume that Mommys don't sleep. First thing in the morning, Scout will request to go to Daddy's bed and all three of us will hang out in Daddy's bed for a little while---usually until Scout wakes up enough to start taking flying leaps from one parent to the other. Two days ago, Scout woke up extra early so I let him look at Flora's new Dora coloring book while Chris and I tried to sleep a little bit longer. As we dozed for an extra ten minutes, Scout was busy decorating Chris' back with stickers from the Dora book. It kept him entertained and neither of us realized what he was doing until we woke up later (woke up to him jumping on us, no doubt). So, Chris woke up to a back covered in Dora . . . something I'm sure he never would have imagined happening to him pre-kids.

"the PIANIST" or "my most embarrassing mommy moment to date"

I think I earned another badge for my parenting vest tonight.....let me set the stage for my most embarrassing parenting moment ever:

Our church is hosting the Southwest Association meetings for the North American Baptist Conference this weekend. Basically this means that pastors from churches in Kansas, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Missouri are using our building to hold association business meetings. Tonight the church hosted a banquet for everyone with a speaker to follow. Tables and chairs were set up in half the sanctuary and the food was delicious. Unfortunately, childcare was not available until AFTER the banquet. Things may be different next time we host the SWA meetings.......

So, here's the funny part ---

Our pastor, Dennis, stood up with a microphone right in front of our table and gave a brief welcome before opening the evening in prayer. During his welcome, he announced that a member of our congregation was a very gifted PIANIST and would play a piece before the meal. Flora was sitting directly in front of Dennis as he was talking. As he made this announcement, she looked at me, snickered, and said, "PENIS?"
Ohmygosh......
I turned pink and told Flora to "shh" but kept a straight face. Thinking I hadn't heard her properly, she said, "PENIS, Mommy?"
Did you know that 2-year-olds only have one volume when they talk? Just because everyone else is silent does not mean that they will speak in hushed tones. I was probably a bright fuchsia at this point and again hushed Flora but my straight face was quickly cracking. (By the way, if you're curious, you can read a whole post about why Flora even knows the word "penis" here.)
The final straw came when she giggled, pointed at Dennis, and said, "Mommy, that man say PENIS!"
Luckily, Dennis chose that moment to start praying so I had an excuse to hide my bright red face while I composed my silent giggles.

I don't know if anyone understood what Flora was saying. I only asked two people and neither of them had heard it, but I'm fairly certain that Dennis must have heard her. Whether all 50 people heard her or no one heard her but me, I was definitely embarrassed. Once we arrived home, Flora and I had a little talk about how we only talk about penises at home. She flippantly said, "Oh, okay" but I have a feeling she's going to embarrass me again someday with that word.....
Of course, Scout couldn't let me have my most embarrassing moment with Flora alone, so he decided to push the loud buttons on his little truck in the middle of Dennis's prayer -- just to be sure that EVERYONE in the room knew that there were toddlers present.
Now, I don't want to seem like a know-it-all or a pushy mom so all I'll say is that none of this would have happened if the kids had been in the nursery during the banquet......just sayin'.

He says, She says (and says, and says, and says)

Scout says:

Riding in the cart at Target, Scout spontaneously burst into song, singing "La la LA!" down the aisles.

Flora says:

"I think I need a bandaid on my bum!" after landing too hard on her bum.

"Maybe our new baby will be here tomorrow?"

I told Flora and Scout how happy I was that they ate all their food and Flora replied, "Mommy, you need to do a happy dance!!"

After spending several minutes reading labels on bug repellents at Target, I told Flora that we were going to get one. She got excited and exclaimed, "For my birthday?!?"

Flora is finally learning some modesty. Today she shut and locked the bathroom door so that Scout and I couldn't come in while she was going poo-poo.

just a boring post about nothing but i felt like i needed to post SOMETHING since it had been so long -- i'll do better next time

Sometimes I think we're pressing our luck by having a third child. Flora and Scout aren't perfect, but they are pretty darn close to it. They are also pretty darn cute. Can we possibly have a third child that is as cute and perfect as they are??? I've seen it done by other families, so hopefully we have a chance . . . but we're definitely stopping with three.

Other times I think that we were just plain crazy to decide that we wanted to have a third child so soon. It doesn't make sense financially and probably won't bode well for my sanity in the next few years, but it fits into our bigger plan. We always said that 1) we wanted at least three kids 2) once we started having kids we wanted to have them all very quickly, and 3) I personally wanted to be done having kids before I turned 30.

Check, check, AND check! Mission accomplished!!!

life lessons

Flora is going poo-poo on the potty. After a few minutes, she scrunches up her little nose and starts fanning her hands in front of her face. "Whew, Mommy," she says, "we need some air in here!"

hm?

As I sit here typing, Elmo, a pony, a monkey, and a race car driver are all staring at me. My graduate school diploma is hiding behind various Barney and Veggie Tales DVDs. There is a smudgy hand print on my newly cleaned window and chocolate on my white couch.

I think that being a mother to toddlers means doing most things at least twice before they really get done and saying everything at least a dozen times before the message gets across. Flora's favorite new word is "hm?" In Flora-language, "hm?" means "I heard what you said but it was not what I wanted to hear so I am going to continue saying 'hm?' in hopes that you will eventually give me a different answer."

I'm not complaining though. Flora and Scout are a lot of fun and (pathetic, but true) two of my best little friends. We laugh a lot during our long days at home and have some sweet little lovey moments too. Scout is turning into quite the entertainer. He's subtle, but he likes to make people laugh. He'll often come walking into the room with a blanket over his head and quietly wait for someone to notice him and laugh. Of course, making Flora laugh is the biggest prize of all in his little world.

So I will absolutely enjoy these fun little toddler years, but I also know that a day is coming in which there won't be farm animals and furry red monsters staring at me -- and that kinda makes me happy too. But it's silly to wish for those days because once those days come I will be wishing for these days back. Seasons . . . you can't change them or avoid them . . . you just have to enjoy the one you are currently in because unlike seasons of weather, most seasons of life only come around once.

2 DMVs, 2 PPs and a BLT

The Department of Motor Vehicles . . . just the name strikes fear and dread in the hearts of many. However, my experiences at the DMV have always been relatively quick and painless, which is perhaps why I thought it was a good idea to take the kids into the DMV to transfer our plates and register the van. Let's just break down our DMV day into bite-sized chunks, shall we?? The following is a list of our (me, Flora & Scout) activities on Tuesday in chronological order:

• Go to Walmart to do our big weekly shopping trip without Chris
• Drive to DMV to register van
• Realize that the DMV has changed locations
• Get lost and drive around Gladstone looking for the DMV's new location
• Ask Flora if she needs to potty at least 20 times while driving around Gladstone
• Find the DMV!!! Ask Flora one last time if she needs to potty (the answer is always no)
• Unload the double stroller, load the kids into the stroller, and wheel all of us inside
• Take a number -- only 6 in front of me!!! Whip out the Skittles to keep kids happy
• With only 3 people in front of me, Flora decides she needs to go potty
• Rush next door to Ace Hardware and squeeze the double stroller into their pint-sized bathroom
• Flora goes potty!
• Rush back to the DMV to find that I have not lost my place in line! Joy!
• Talk to DMV employee and realize that I can save $400 but I have to drive to Independence and go home to get additional paperwork......
• Decide that saving $400 is worth the extra hassle
• Go home
• Feed kids and unload groceries
• Put kids down for naps
• Paint kitchen
• Wake up kids at 3pm so we can get everything done
• Drive to Independence to get a new check from the credit union
• Drive quickly to the DMV and arrive at 4:30pm -- whew!!
• Rush inside without the stroller and go right up to the counter -- no line!!
• Lay out all my paperwork for the nice DMV lady
• Flora says she needs to go potty......
• Leave paperwork at counter with nice lady and rush back over to Ace Hardware
• No double stroller this time so I am holding Flora over the potty while using a knee to keep Scout cornered so he won't touch anything
• Think to myself, "This stall ain't big enough for the four of us" in a Western drawl
• Rush back over to DMV and thank the nice lady for being so understanding
• Write a $3 check to register the van (I never have cash.....)
• Go home, make macaroni, go to birthday party, forget about meeting at church, remember meeting at church, go to meeting at church while Chris and the kids play in the nursery, go home, put kids to bed, make BLTs, CRASH on the couch for the remainder of the evening.

All in all, not a bad day. I saved $400, got the kitchen painted, and Flora didn't have any accidents despite all of our running around!!

Snippets

After an hour of outside playtime, Flora walked inside and climbed into her chair for dinnertime. As she took her seat, she said, "This is not a bad day, Mommy!"

Yesterday Scout picked up his little plastic cell phone and walked through the house saying, "Hello Poppy!" over and over.

Flora and Scout decided that the 2nd mile of our family 5k walk was the appropriate time to burst into song. They sang a lovely duet of Barney's "I love you" song.

Our first butterfly sighting happened yesterday. Flora was very interested in the butterfly, but also annoyed that it wouldn't let her get close. "Mommy," she complained, "I need to talk to that butterfly!"

Speaking of talking creatures . . . we met a nice (and completely silent as far as I could tell) dog on one of our walks. We said hi to the dog and walked away. Flora said, "That a nice doggie. He talks to me!"

potty monster strikes again

Having a potty trained child is great, spectacular, wonderful, blissful --- or is it?? Trading diapers for the potty creates a new set of challenges. I had anticipated some of the issues (like being home bound during our "training session") but others took me by surprise (like walking in on Scout trying to wipe Flora after she had pee-peed in the potty).

Yes, little Scout had a handful of toilet paper and was dutifully trying his best to help Flora clean up. He is very interested in this new potty game we all play and for good reason -- every time Flora goes pee-pee or poo-poo in the potty he ends up with an M&M. He practically drags her to the bathroom every ten minutes, waits patiently until he hears "the sound," and gleefully shouts "Bye-bye, Pee-pee!" at the flushing toilet before running to the M&M cabinet. I know it's bad, but what kind of mother would I be if I denied him an M&M just because he still pees involuntarily??

Of course, Flora is totally playing the M&M game too. She will go sit on the potty and TRY TRY TRY until she can produce a tiny tinkle in order to earn her M&M. Needless to say, the M&Ms are almost gone and they will NOT be replenished. She's just going to have to learn to pee-pee in the potty for the sake of pee-peeing in the potty. Or whatever.

Another surprise of potty training has been wedgies. Diapers don't really "wedge," so I'm sure the feeling was a bit of a shock to Flora. She had a concerned look on her face as she tried unsuccessfully to unwedge her panties and said, "Mommy, something stuck in my bum!" I was tempted to let her struggle for a while since it was so amusing, but decided that would be mean. After all, one's first wedgie might be a rather traumatic experience if not handled properly.

Overall, I am surprised at how well potty training has gone. We owe our success to Mel and Callie for proving that it IS possible to potty train a child before junior high (after an unsuccessful potty training attempt a while back I decided I was not trying again until she was a 7th grader --- you can read about this bad experience with the potty monster HERE). I'm also relieved that my potty training work is done. After all, it's the Daddy's job to potty train the boys, right???

in memoriam

Toby has died and gone to doggie heaven.


Ok, not really, but he probably thinks he has! Toby was recently adopted by a couple with one other German Shorthair Pointer and no plans for kids. The woman actually got on the floor with Toby and let him lick her mouth when she met him. She talked of long walks and camping trips in the wilderness . . . and Toby promptly shoved us out of the way in his hurry to get into her car (the backseat of which already had a heavy coating of German Shorthair Pointer fur). Toby has finally found a home where he will be spoiled rotten. See what I mean? Doggie heaven, for sure.

Although I've made no secret of the fact that I was ready for Toby to leave, I admit I was sad to see him go when it came to the moment of putting him in the car and watching him ride away. He was our baby once and he's not a bad dog. He's never been a bad dog, but he IS a DOG and right now any dog in our house is a bad dog. Toby didn't deserve that. He'll be happier now.

So, instead of waxing poetic about all of the wonderful things that I will miss about Toby I've decided to list all of the wonderful things about Toby being gone. Here are a few . . . I'm sure I'll discover more in the weeks to come!

• No more muddy paw prints on my kitchen floor
• No more food disappearing from the countertops if left unattended
• No more licking and scratching on the sliding door
• NO MORE WHINING!! (well, no more doggie whining anyway)
• We have the option to get a screen door now!
• No more cedar pieces tracked in on the carpet
• No more money spent on dog food
• We can go places without the always frustrating decision of what to do with Toby
• Chris can get the yard looking good and his garden won't be disrupted
• Did I mention no more whining???
• A large chunk of my living room has been reclaimed (where his bed used to be)
• The kids can play in the yard without stepping in poo
• I won't have to put Toby's water up every time the kids go outside
  
• No more stinky dog bed in my living room
• No more feeling guilty over the fact that he hasn't seen a vet since Scout was born
  

I guess I'm done for now. It's just a relief that Toby has found a good home. Chris is happy, I am happy, and the kids haven't even realized he's gone. In fact, before he left we asked Flora if Toby could go live somewhere else and she said, "Yes. Toby go 'nother home. FloFlo Scout play outside!"