So I've been thinking.....
I am absolutely horrible at expressing myself verbally. I usually rely on odd noises and elaborate hand gestures to communicate my message as words generally fail me. It's not that I don't know any words, it's just hard to express what I am thinking because I don't think in words. Do you? I don't know if other people think in words or not but I think in pictures and ideas and feelings and, as we all know, sometimes it's hard to put pictures/ideas/feelings into words. Then again, maybe everyone thinks this way and I am the only one who has problems translating these thoughts into coherent sentences. Regardless, I find that I can "think" better by writing. Often I am not sure what I am thinking until I start writing about it. Perhaps that is why I was horrible at writing outlines when I was in school. How can I outline what I am going to write before I write it? I turned in the outline assignments, but my finished product never looked anything like my outline said it would. And writing is so much easier than talking. I can take long pauses to choose just the right word or delete whole sentences that don't make sense without anyone ever knowing. These habits are extremely awkward when practiced in verbal conversations.
Whew---all that just to say that this blog is about me writing out some thoughts that I've been wanting to explore.
So I've been thinking....
I've been thinking that the way Flora, Scout, and Timber act toward me is very similar to the way that Christians act toward God at different times. (Mother--this idea is similar to your theory, but also very different) Let's explore....
And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3-4
Timber is so little and so helpless. He cries when he needs something and is absolutely dependent on me to meet that need. I, of course, take care of him the best that I can because I love him and he is mine. And the best part about Timber? He absolutely adores me. I am his favorite person in the world. He could be deliriously happy just staring at me for hours. When Jesus said that we should come as little children, I think he meant really really little children, like Timber. The older we get, the more 'human' we become....
Side Note: Does it sound like I am comparing myself to God? Well, I guess it does, but obviously I am not God. I love my kids but my love is not perfect and I am not perfect. God's is and He is. Just wanted to clear the air -- I do NOT think that I am God.
Scout is almost 2-years-old. The phrase that I hear from him most often during the day is "all by myself!" He is absolutely determined to be independent . . . or as independent as an almost-2-year-old can possibly be. He's not being rebellious and it's not that he doesn't love me or enjoy my company -- he's just trying to conquer his little world on his own now. Most of the time, I will let him do things "all by myself" although it always takes much longer and considerably more effort than if he had just let me help him. And sometimes he fails.
Also, Scout will sometimes scream and cry if he doesn't get his way. Again, it's not quite rebellion yet but a result of the fact that he doesn't understand why he can't have/do what he wants. I always have a good reason but his little brain just can't understand the reason. He can't see the big picture like I can, but he wants to be in control nevertheless.
Flora is 3-years-old and is learning the not-so-fine art of rebellion. She can look me right in the eye and say, "NO!" when I give her a command. Yes, she loves me and usually wants to please me, but she has also discovered that she has a will of her own. Oh, how easy it would be if her will always matched my will!! But, alas, 3-year-olds are not quite grown-ups yet, so Flora's will usually includes more candy and hitting than it should and not nearly enough obeying. So I have to discipline her and that's no fun for her OR me. Sometimes it even means that I can't do a fun activity that I had planned for us. It's frustrating because if she would just obey then we could all have a great time but her disobedience means that I have to withhold good things from her.
Timber, Scout, and Flora are all acting exactly how they are supposed to act for their respective ages, but I was thinking that my attitude toward God is sometimes more like a 2- or 3-year-old's attitude than it should be. I often look at Timber's peaceful sleeping face when I'm holding him and wish that someone could hold me and make the whole world seem right. I guess I forget that God IS holding me and I really should be completely at peace. I also forget sometimes that I don't have to do it "all by myself" and I really shouldn't even try. God sees the big picture. Even when I don't understand or don't want to obey I need to remember that He really does love me and wants only the best for me. Just like I know what's best for my kids (or at least I know better than they do!), God knows what is best for me.
So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. Matthew 7:11
I'm not always a Timber or a Flora or a Scout, but I can think of specific instances in which I have been each, as I'm sure most Christians can. It's not a perfect analogy though . . . right now Timber is gassy, Scout is teething , and Flora is having a conversation with a corn dog. I am happy to report that I am neither a Timber, a Scout, nor a Flora at this particular moment.
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