hm?

As I sit here typing, Elmo, a pony, a monkey, and a race car driver are all staring at me. My graduate school diploma is hiding behind various Barney and Veggie Tales DVDs. There is a smudgy hand print on my newly cleaned window and chocolate on my white couch.

I think that being a mother to toddlers means doing most things at least twice before they really get done and saying everything at least a dozen times before the message gets across. Flora's favorite new word is "hm?" In Flora-language, "hm?" means "I heard what you said but it was not what I wanted to hear so I am going to continue saying 'hm?' in hopes that you will eventually give me a different answer."

I'm not complaining though. Flora and Scout are a lot of fun and (pathetic, but true) two of my best little friends. We laugh a lot during our long days at home and have some sweet little lovey moments too. Scout is turning into quite the entertainer. He's subtle, but he likes to make people laugh. He'll often come walking into the room with a blanket over his head and quietly wait for someone to notice him and laugh. Of course, making Flora laugh is the biggest prize of all in his little world.

So I will absolutely enjoy these fun little toddler years, but I also know that a day is coming in which there won't be farm animals and furry red monsters staring at me -- and that kinda makes me happy too. But it's silly to wish for those days because once those days come I will be wishing for these days back. Seasons . . . you can't change them or avoid them . . . you just have to enjoy the one you are currently in because unlike seasons of weather, most seasons of life only come around once.

2 DMVs, 2 PPs and a BLT

The Department of Motor Vehicles . . . just the name strikes fear and dread in the hearts of many. However, my experiences at the DMV have always been relatively quick and painless, which is perhaps why I thought it was a good idea to take the kids into the DMV to transfer our plates and register the van. Let's just break down our DMV day into bite-sized chunks, shall we?? The following is a list of our (me, Flora & Scout) activities on Tuesday in chronological order:

• Go to Walmart to do our big weekly shopping trip without Chris
• Drive to DMV to register van
• Realize that the DMV has changed locations
• Get lost and drive around Gladstone looking for the DMV's new location
• Ask Flora if she needs to potty at least 20 times while driving around Gladstone
• Find the DMV!!! Ask Flora one last time if she needs to potty (the answer is always no)
• Unload the double stroller, load the kids into the stroller, and wheel all of us inside
• Take a number -- only 6 in front of me!!! Whip out the Skittles to keep kids happy
• With only 3 people in front of me, Flora decides she needs to go potty
• Rush next door to Ace Hardware and squeeze the double stroller into their pint-sized bathroom
• Flora goes potty!
• Rush back to the DMV to find that I have not lost my place in line! Joy!
• Talk to DMV employee and realize that I can save $400 but I have to drive to Independence and go home to get additional paperwork......
• Decide that saving $400 is worth the extra hassle
• Go home
• Feed kids and unload groceries
• Put kids down for naps
• Paint kitchen
• Wake up kids at 3pm so we can get everything done
• Drive to Independence to get a new check from the credit union
• Drive quickly to the DMV and arrive at 4:30pm -- whew!!
• Rush inside without the stroller and go right up to the counter -- no line!!
• Lay out all my paperwork for the nice DMV lady
• Flora says she needs to go potty......
• Leave paperwork at counter with nice lady and rush back over to Ace Hardware
• No double stroller this time so I am holding Flora over the potty while using a knee to keep Scout cornered so he won't touch anything
• Think to myself, "This stall ain't big enough for the four of us" in a Western drawl
• Rush back over to DMV and thank the nice lady for being so understanding
• Write a $3 check to register the van (I never have cash.....)
• Go home, make macaroni, go to birthday party, forget about meeting at church, remember meeting at church, go to meeting at church while Chris and the kids play in the nursery, go home, put kids to bed, make BLTs, CRASH on the couch for the remainder of the evening.

All in all, not a bad day. I saved $400, got the kitchen painted, and Flora didn't have any accidents despite all of our running around!!

Snippets

After an hour of outside playtime, Flora walked inside and climbed into her chair for dinnertime. As she took her seat, she said, "This is not a bad day, Mommy!"

Yesterday Scout picked up his little plastic cell phone and walked through the house saying, "Hello Poppy!" over and over.

Flora and Scout decided that the 2nd mile of our family 5k walk was the appropriate time to burst into song. They sang a lovely duet of Barney's "I love you" song.

Our first butterfly sighting happened yesterday. Flora was very interested in the butterfly, but also annoyed that it wouldn't let her get close. "Mommy," she complained, "I need to talk to that butterfly!"

Speaking of talking creatures . . . we met a nice (and completely silent as far as I could tell) dog on one of our walks. We said hi to the dog and walked away. Flora said, "That a nice doggie. He talks to me!"

potty monster strikes again

Having a potty trained child is great, spectacular, wonderful, blissful --- or is it?? Trading diapers for the potty creates a new set of challenges. I had anticipated some of the issues (like being home bound during our "training session") but others took me by surprise (like walking in on Scout trying to wipe Flora after she had pee-peed in the potty).

Yes, little Scout had a handful of toilet paper and was dutifully trying his best to help Flora clean up. He is very interested in this new potty game we all play and for good reason -- every time Flora goes pee-pee or poo-poo in the potty he ends up with an M&M. He practically drags her to the bathroom every ten minutes, waits patiently until he hears "the sound," and gleefully shouts "Bye-bye, Pee-pee!" at the flushing toilet before running to the M&M cabinet. I know it's bad, but what kind of mother would I be if I denied him an M&M just because he still pees involuntarily??

Of course, Flora is totally playing the M&M game too. She will go sit on the potty and TRY TRY TRY until she can produce a tiny tinkle in order to earn her M&M. Needless to say, the M&Ms are almost gone and they will NOT be replenished. She's just going to have to learn to pee-pee in the potty for the sake of pee-peeing in the potty. Or whatever.

Another surprise of potty training has been wedgies. Diapers don't really "wedge," so I'm sure the feeling was a bit of a shock to Flora. She had a concerned look on her face as she tried unsuccessfully to unwedge her panties and said, "Mommy, something stuck in my bum!" I was tempted to let her struggle for a while since it was so amusing, but decided that would be mean. After all, one's first wedgie might be a rather traumatic experience if not handled properly.

Overall, I am surprised at how well potty training has gone. We owe our success to Mel and Callie for proving that it IS possible to potty train a child before junior high (after an unsuccessful potty training attempt a while back I decided I was not trying again until she was a 7th grader --- you can read about this bad experience with the potty monster HERE). I'm also relieved that my potty training work is done. After all, it's the Daddy's job to potty train the boys, right???

in memoriam

Toby has died and gone to doggie heaven.


Ok, not really, but he probably thinks he has! Toby was recently adopted by a couple with one other German Shorthair Pointer and no plans for kids. The woman actually got on the floor with Toby and let him lick her mouth when she met him. She talked of long walks and camping trips in the wilderness . . . and Toby promptly shoved us out of the way in his hurry to get into her car (the backseat of which already had a heavy coating of German Shorthair Pointer fur). Toby has finally found a home where he will be spoiled rotten. See what I mean? Doggie heaven, for sure.

Although I've made no secret of the fact that I was ready for Toby to leave, I admit I was sad to see him go when it came to the moment of putting him in the car and watching him ride away. He was our baby once and he's not a bad dog. He's never been a bad dog, but he IS a DOG and right now any dog in our house is a bad dog. Toby didn't deserve that. He'll be happier now.

So, instead of waxing poetic about all of the wonderful things that I will miss about Toby I've decided to list all of the wonderful things about Toby being gone. Here are a few . . . I'm sure I'll discover more in the weeks to come!

• No more muddy paw prints on my kitchen floor
• No more food disappearing from the countertops if left unattended
• No more licking and scratching on the sliding door
• NO MORE WHINING!! (well, no more doggie whining anyway)
• We have the option to get a screen door now!
• No more cedar pieces tracked in on the carpet
• No more money spent on dog food
• We can go places without the always frustrating decision of what to do with Toby
• Chris can get the yard looking good and his garden won't be disrupted
• Did I mention no more whining???
• A large chunk of my living room has been reclaimed (where his bed used to be)
• The kids can play in the yard without stepping in poo
• I won't have to put Toby's water up every time the kids go outside
  
• No more stinky dog bed in my living room
• No more feeling guilty over the fact that he hasn't seen a vet since Scout was born
  

I guess I'm done for now. It's just a relief that Toby has found a good home. Chris is happy, I am happy, and the kids haven't even realized he's gone. In fact, before he left we asked Flora if Toby could go live somewhere else and she said, "Yes. Toby go 'nother home. FloFlo Scout play outside!"

life. changing.

For the past few months we Borkerts have been working through a rather daunting to-do list. Since finding out we are expecting Baby #3, we've been plodding through all the necessary changes that need to take place before this new little boy's arrival.

Adding a second child is like adopting a second cat---no major adjustments are needed because you already have a litter box and cat food---but a third child is like bringing home a tiger. He doesn't just fit into the existing schema. Instead we've had to make all kinds of modifications in order to accommodate our little tiger.

We've conquered (or at least muddled through) confusing and often frustrating new maternity insurance, auto loan applications, selling the car, and purchasing our first minivan. Still to do---find a new home for Toby and get a new air conditioner installed (which we can pay for with CASH since we sold our car for a great price! --that's exciting!).

With only these two major items left on the "big-changes-that-must-happen to-do list," I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe at some point I can start thinking about baby names and cute little boy outfits instead of interest rates and efficiency ratings....and maybe I'll go back to blogging about cute little kid stories instead of boring grown-up stuff. :-)

goodbye Mildred. HELLO Veronica!!

Goodbye, Ford Focus. You've been a stellar vehicle for us, but we're going to outgrow you soon. I'll miss your reliability and your fun standard transmission, but I won't miss your ugly gray paint. I really liked the gray for a long time, but now it just bores me. It's been real, Mildred---you'll probably always be my favorite wagon.

Hello, Chrysler Town & Country. I hope you are a stellar vehicle because we plan to drive you long after your shiny red paint becomes dull. I'll miss that super shiny red paint though, so I'm going to really enjoy it while it's fresh and new (to me). It's sassy. If a minivan can be sassy, YOU are sassy. I feel like I need to paint my nails bright red just to be worthy of driving your sassiness. Ah, it feels good to own a red car again. You could be a very good influence on me.....maybe turn some of my frump into sass! And what shall we call you? You are definitely not a Mildred II --- I'm going to have to think on this for a while. Maybe Veronica? Or Lola? Well, whoever you are, here's to many good, sassy years together!! Cheers!

sweet dreams

Flora woke up smiling and happy this morning as usual. Chris gave her a hug and asked what she had dreamed about. She immediately replied, "Pink cupcakes!"

cars and crises

I have enjoyed observing the differences between Flora and Scout, especially those differences that seem to relate to gender. While Scout will hug a baby doll or try to feed it a bottle, his very favorite thing to do these days is stand at the window and point out all the cars. Cars and trucks are so fascinating to him right now. He enjoys watching the parked cars, so imagine his excitement when a car actually DRIVES down our street! The highlight of his day is seeing the school bus or the trash truck drive by. Yesterday we went to the park to play and he was just as thrilled with a parking lot full of cars as he was with the slide and swings. Such a boy thing.

Flora called our car "home" for the longest time. Apparently, in Flora's opinion, the only fascinating thing about cars was that they took her home. I couldn't even get her to give more than a passing glance at the trash truck and those things are actually pretty cool. She's too busy doing her girly things like sneaking back to her room to put on her princess dress or "cooking" something in her little kitchen. Unfortunately, when she's feeling ornery she will inexplicably develop a fixation on Scout's favorite truck. He carries around a truck and an airplane pretty much all the time and Flora knows she can get a reaction out of everyone if she takes his truck away. Such a big sister . . .

In other news, I just realized that Scout is in the middle of an identity crisis. If you ask him where Flora is, he will point to Flora, but if you ask him where Scout is, he will also point to Flora. He also identifies pictures of himself as Flora. Perhaps that is the real danger of having so little space between them . . . he thinks he IS Flora. Oh well, he's bound to outgrow THAT eventually, right!??

ender

Today I heard the baby's heartbeat. So, it's really true --- we're having another baby. It's funny how months of nausea, a growing belly, and all the unmentionable symptoms of early pregnancy never truly convince me that there is actually a little person in there. Well, now I know for sure. There is a little heart beating at 152 beats per minute inside a little bitty baby inside my expanding tummy. Weird. In two weeks we will find out if it is a little boy heartbeat or a little girl heartbeat! So exciting!!!

Here's a picture of Chris and I toasting (with sparkling grape juice OF COURSE) the night we found out I was pregnant.
Since we're pretty sure that this is our last baby, I've been trying to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible. Too bad it's the worse pregnancy I've had . . .

I've come to the conclusion that while it is certainly NICER to be a stay-at-home mom while pregnant, it is actually EASIER to be a working pregnant mom. The distractions of work kept my mind off the nausea, dizziness, aches, and exhaustion while also keeping me active. People think librarians just sit around and read all day, but I did a lot of standing and walking when I worked. I was also on a fairly regular schedule so I ate at normal times --- and I actually remembered to eat!! It's not that I really forget to eat now . . . but sometimes after feeding the kids I'm just not interested in putting any effort into feeding myself. Hello, Pretzels!
Also, though I did do some lifting at the library, it was nothing compared to the hundreds? thousands? bazillions? of times that I pick up a 25+ pounds of squirming toddler during my day as a stay-at-home mom. And I never, ever had to wrestle a 28lb toddler out from under a table at the library.

Of course, there are advantages of being at home. I nap almost every day while the kids are napping (and I enjoy every single one of those naps immensely!), I get to wear comfy sweats and t-shirts ALL the time (this is probably even higher in my book than the naps!), I can take the kids on walks in the middle of the day, and I get to hang out with my two silly chickens all day!

Conclusion: I'm glad to be pregnant at home, but I wish the kids weighed a lot less.