it's so funny

"I wish you'd write something on your blog. I need something to read," says my Mother. Oh, the pressure I am under to entertain you people!! :-)

Well, I actually have a REALLY funny story but it is not appropriate for the blog, so you'll have to ask me about it sometime. You're probably gasping in shock that there is anything I consider inappropriate for this blog, right!?? Some things just don't need to be put out there for the whole world to read. It's very funny though . . . I'm giggling just thinking about it . . . I bet you wish you knew the story!!! Cruel, I know. Also, don't ask me to tell you the story unless we are really good friends or relatives. I may also require you to be female . . . I'll have to think about that one. Let's just say I'm reserving the right to refuse to tell the funny story if I don't think it's appropriate for you to hear. Gosh, I bet I've really got you curious now, huh?!? Good.

I had intended to write a few little stories on here, but they just don't compare to the REALLY funny story that I can't tell you. I think I'll just save the blogging for another day when I feel like I have something amusing/exciting/poignant to write.

scout and flora

I am quick to attribute the differences in Flora and Scout to their respective genders, but I know that many of the differences have more to do with personality than gender.

Two interesting observations this week:

Scout, Flora, and I went to the park on Saturday since it was such a gorgeous day. After sliding and playing in the sand for a while, they decided it was time to swing. I put them both in the baby seats (Flora likes to use the "big girl" swings now, but they were in the sun and too hot) and started pushing. Flora immediately starts saying, "Too high, Mommy! Too high! Slower!" So I slow her down some and continue to push Scout higher and higher as he grins and giggles. Scout is soaring while Flora is barely moving.

Friday night, the three of us went on a walk together. The thought of pushing the double stroller was not appealing so I decided we would try just holding hands. It worked fine -- they were both very good about holding my hand and we had a pleasant walk. The funny thing was that instead of walking next to each other we were practically in a single-file line. Scout was charging ahead, holding tight to my hand but getting as far ahead as he could without letting go. Meanwhile, Flora was slowly strolling and commenting on all the plants and animals that she observed as she was being gently pulled along by Scout and me. Gender and personality aside, I think they were both living up to their names on this walk! Scout was forging ahead and blazing the trail while Flora was picking up flowers and sticks and naming the ants.

Whether due to differences in gender or personality (or, more likely, both), I was amused at these two situations. I think I will see these same scenarios played out in different ways over and over in the years to come. The challenge with Flora is to give her little pushes now and then to encourage her to try new things and "swing higher," whereas Scout may need to be encouraged to use more caution in some situations.

New Baby Resolutions

1. I will take pictures of B3 when he is crying. Crying babies are cute but no one ever thinks to grab the camera when a baby is crying. And maybe more sleeping pictures too . . . to remind myself during the sleepless nights that he IS capable of sleep.

2. I will adopt a more middle-of-the-road approach to feedings. I will not be overly structured about time and length like I was with Flora, nor will I just let him eat whenever he feels like it for however long he feels like it like I did with Scout. Somewhere in the middle sounds good.

3. I will not worry about his belly button. The stump will fall off when it is supposed to and it will not get infected . . . and if it DOES get infected then we'll deal with it. There is no reason to spend any amount of time thinking or worrying about belly buttons. And the same goes for the circumcision site.

4. If B3 needs phototherapy to clear up his jaundice, then I WILL take pictures of him wearing his little sunglasses. Those things are pretty cute! Chris and I have often lamented the fact that we never took pictures when Flora and Scout were "under the lights." Scout even had a cool Star Trek-ish bed at our house with a little space suit thingy to wear. It was cute -- in a medical-intervention sort of way -- but I never took a picture of him in it.

5. I will let Flora and Scout touch, poke, kiss, and practically smother their new baby brother. I don't think they could really hurt him, even on accident, but I will always be there to intervene if the poking and smothering go too far. I want them to feel like the new baby is theirs too -- not just Mommy's new toy.

6. I will shower at LEAST every other day. After Flora was born, I was so proud that I still got a shower in every day . . . after Scout was born I reconciled myself to the fact that bathing every other day would have to suffice. I am NOT letting B3 add another unwashed day to my week!! Where there's a will, there's a way, right?

7. I will still do fun things with Flora and Scout after B3 is born, although it will require considerably more effort. But hey, isn't that what baby slings are for? -- conveniently toting around the youngest child to the older siblings' adventures!?!

8. I will TRY to remember to feed myself and Flora and Scout at regular intervals in the first few weeks after B3 is born . . . no promises on this one! Other shaky resolutions include getting us all dressed every day, keeping the house clean, and keeping up with laundry.

9. I will not rush B3 into bigger clothing just because it it cute and I can't wait for him to wear it. He will only be tiny for a short time so I'll enjoy his tiny clothes while they still fit him. Of course, the opposite is also true -- I will not try to squeeze him into clothes that are too small just because I'm not ready to pack them away for good!

10. And finally, I resolve to continue to blog after B3 is born even though my free time will be significantly decreased. I suppose you can expect to see more blogs posted in the middle of the night . . . I hope he won't mind me typing while he eats!! :-)

honesty

I'm not a big fan of babies. Surprised? Yeah, I guess that's understandable considering the fact that I keep acquiring them. Babies are okay but there's a secret part of me that always longs for the day when they can sit on their own. I consider that to be the first step towards toddlerhood. Once they can sit on their own, they can see the world better, interact with their environment easier, and generally don't cry as much. It's horrible, isn't it? What kind of mother doesn't like newborns? They usually look funny too, but I won't hold that against them -- I look rather funny during the first few months postpartum too. I am going to try my hardest to enjoy the newborn phase with B3 (a.k.a. He Who Has Not Been Named) since he will be our last baby, but I know I will still breathe a sigh of relief on the day that he precariously balances on his diaper-clad bum and sits on his own.

Flora, on the other hand, is such a good little mommy. She will mother ANYTHING. Last week we went to McDonalds for lunch and she adopted a French fry. She gently carried it around the house, rocked it and sang it to sleep, and tucked it into bed with a napkin blanket, saying, "I love you so much!" occasionally. It was slightly disturbing to watch, but I wasn't about to come between Flora and her "Fry Baby." Seriously -- "Fry Baby." She's an odd one. She's going to LOVE her new baby brother though. She tells me that she will "hug him and kiss him and play with him" -- and I really do think she will. Probably not at first. At first, the shock of having a wrinkled, squawking, wriggly thing in the house absorbing all of Mommy's attention will probably override any nurturing impulses Flora has towards the baby, but eventually, once he gets a little bit more interactive, I think she will have a lot of fun helping me take care of him. That's the plan anyway!!

Poor Scout doesn't realize that his little world is about to be rocked. He loves his mommy and I don't think he's going to enjoy the competition. He will probably throw trucks at the baby. Or try to sit on him. We'll see. I'm sure I'll have plenty of new material to blog about once B3 finally makes his appearance!

more conversations

(while putting Flora to bed)
Me: Do YOU want to pray tonight, Flora?
Flora: OK! Jesus loves me. This I know. *giggle* That's a SONG!
Me: Yep, that's a song!
Flora: But I don't know how to pray, Mommy.
Me: Well, you just talk to Jesus. What do you want to tell Jesus?
Flora: Ummm........that I love ponies.


Flora: Scout, you want to get in my boat [baby bathtub] with me?
Scout: No
Flora: Scout, get in my boat and I will row us across Crocodile Lake.
Scout: No way!
Flora: Scout, PLEEEEASE get in my boat with me?
Scout: Ohhh-tay, Flora.


(waking me up this morning)
Flora: Mommy! Mommy! Your baby come out of your belly yet???


(in the car)
Flora: Jesus is with us.
Me: Yes, He is. Uh, where is He?
Flora: In the backseat.


When Chris leaves for work, the kids like to give him kisses through the stair rails. They kissed him and he left the house and then Flora ran back over to the rails and kissed the air on the other side. She giggled and said, "Mommy, I kissed Jesus!"

write what you know

I consider myself somewhat of an expert on diapers now. After all, I've examined them every day (yes, EVERY day) for the past 2 years and 10 months. I've developed some strong opinions on diapers and will share those opinions now that we've established I'm qualified to give an opinion on the subject of diapers. Because you really shouldn't listen to someone talk about diapers unless you are sure they really KNOW diapers......

First, I want to acknowledge that Pampers is the superior brand. They cost more than most other brands but are really worth the extra money if you are willing to spend it. They are much softer and the bigger sizes are printed with Sesame Street characters! Trust me, a little Elmo goes a long way towards making a diapering situation less of a wrestling match. The Pampers Swaddlers for tiny babies are almost all white which makes for great newborn-baby-in-diaper photos. No one wants to see Cookie Monster in those photos. Pampers also has the Gifts to Grow rewards program which allows you to build up points that can be redeemed for various baby/toddler paraphernalia. I used Pampers exclusively with Flora until she was at least 6-months-old and was able to redeem my Gifts to Grow points for a Dora the Explorer potty seat. Sweet. I love Pampers and occasionally splurge on them now that I am only buying diapers for one child.

If you don't want to shell out the money for Pampers, there are other great options out there! Luvs diapers were my (almost) constant companion throughout the two-in-diapers phase. They are made by the Pampers company and work just as well. The only difference is that they are slightly less soft, but only slightly. All of the Luvs diapers are mostly white so they work well with cute little white pants. Again, no one wants to see Cookie Monster peeping through the thin material of cute white pants.....except in this case it would be Blue the dog since Luvs diapers use Blue's Clues illustrations.

If you want to get even cheaper than Luvs, which I DID at several points last winter, the Target store brand diapers are super! Honestly, as far as quality and performance go, they are probably just as good as Luvs. Stretchy sides, stretchy backs and an acceptable level of softness make them far superior to the Walmart store brand diapers. The Target diapers are decorated with polka dots in various shades of blue. Cute for a boy, but a bit odd for a girl. So, the design on the diapers could be a positive or a negative, depending on whether you are diapering a boy or a girl. Also, Walmart does not carry Target brand diapers (who knew?!?) so you have to make a special trip to Target for diapers.

Do not buy Walmart store brand diapers. They are evil.

Now I need to rant about Huggies for a bit. I really NEED to do this. In fact, I only wrote about the other diapers so that I could have an excuse to rant about Huggies without seeming like a totally negative mommy-blogger. In my experience, Huggies leak more than any of the above mentioned brands (except the Walmart store brand -- EVIL) and are ugly. They have a very faint image of Mickey Mouse and/or Minnie Mouse for decoration that looks like something from the 1970's. I don't mean vintage. Vintage designs on diapers might be fun, but these just look old -- like the diapers themselves were produced 40 years ago. So I don't like the way Huggies diapers look -- I'm just being silly, right? Well, I suppose I could get over the ugly design if they at least functioned like a good diaper should. My biggest problem with Huggies are the tabs that secure the back of the diaper to the front. I used a box of Huggies on Scout recently and at least twice a week he would have a painful looking rash under his belly button where the sharp corner of one of the tabs had rubbed his skin. I know you're thinking that this must be a user error, but seriously, I KNOW how to put a diaper on a toddler. AND I've never had this problem with any other brand of diaper that I've used. The tabs are just too stiff and shouldn't have pointy edges on them. You've disappointed me, Huggies. With a cute little name like "Huggies" I was expecting so much more......

WHEW! It feels really good to get that off my chest. Congratulations to anyone who made it this far. You must be REALLY interested in diapers to have read all this diaper drivel. By the way, did I mention that Huggies are just as expensive as Pampers? If you're going to spend that kind of money, spend it on Pampers. Or save yourself a few bucks and use Luvs or Target diapers. Your baby's bottom will probably never know the difference.
Trust me -- I'm an expert.

riding to church with Jesus

Poppy and Gigi (aka my parents) came up for a short visit this weekend. Short, but intense. It was crammed full of quality Flora and Scout time (off-topic but interesting --> I realized this is a benefit of having a smallish house -- no where to run, no where to hide -- visitors are forced to hang out in our one family room and interact!).

But anyway, Flora and Scout were spoiled with attention for most of the day Saturday, so when Poppy and Gigi rode in their own van to church Sunday morning, Flora asked where they were. I told her they were riding in their van so they could follow us to church. She looked sad and said, "But no one here to look at us?" Haha---THAT is the result of being the only grandchildren on my side of the family. Flora just assumes that Poppy's and Gigi's sole purpose on this earth is to pay attention to her and Scout.

So I laughed and confirmed that no one was in the van to look at her. She was quiet for a minute and then she informed me, "but Jesus ride with us."

Say What??

These are just a few examples of the kinds of conversations that fill my day:

Me: Scout, are you my little boy?
Scout: No
Me: Are you my little man?
Scout: Yes
Flora: You a little mommy, Mommy!
Me: Aw, thanks, Flora!
Scout: Big Mommy


Flora: Scout is kinda like a girl
Me: No, Scout is a boy
Flora: But he kinda like a girl
Me: No, he's not like a girl. He's a boy
Flora: (to Scout) Scout, you a girl??
Scout: Yes


Flora: Mommy, I fixed my hair!
Me: That looks good!
Flora: (frowning) It not great, Mommy?
Me: Yes, it's great. Really, it looks great
Flora: It not great. I need to fix it again.


Me: (to Chris in the other room) HONEY!
Flora: HONEY!
Scout: HONEY!

just felt like writing......

I still can't believe Flora said "penis" in church . . . that has got to be the worst possible thing that any parent could imagine their 2-year-old daughter blurting out in a church setting.

But anyway . . .

Flora goes through phases in which she gets attached to a particular object and wants to take it to bed with her. We recently graduated from the sippy-cup-full-of-water phase and are now in the middle of the Kleenex phase. She just wants a Kleenex to hold in her hand when she goes to sleep. Last night, shortly after putting her to bed, I heard pathetic whimpering at her door. I went to the door to try to figure out what she was saying and realized she was crying because "mine Kleenex has a hole in it." The situation was easily taken care of by providing her with a new, hole-less Kleenex. She is also sleeping with her toy cell phone right now. Other phases she has gone through include books, balls, various dolls, a plastic Easter egg, a toy spatula, a monkey, a My Little Pony, and others that have escaped my memory. The Easter egg was one of my favorites. I would put her into bed and she would hold out her little hand and whisper, "My egg, my egg, Mommy" until I put the egg in her hand. Silly kid.

Scout is currently fascinated with "Daddy's bed." I guess 1-year-olds assume that Mommys don't sleep. First thing in the morning, Scout will request to go to Daddy's bed and all three of us will hang out in Daddy's bed for a little while---usually until Scout wakes up enough to start taking flying leaps from one parent to the other. Two days ago, Scout woke up extra early so I let him look at Flora's new Dora coloring book while Chris and I tried to sleep a little bit longer. As we dozed for an extra ten minutes, Scout was busy decorating Chris' back with stickers from the Dora book. It kept him entertained and neither of us realized what he was doing until we woke up later (woke up to him jumping on us, no doubt). So, Chris woke up to a back covered in Dora . . . something I'm sure he never would have imagined happening to him pre-kids.

"the PIANIST" or "my most embarrassing mommy moment to date"

I think I earned another badge for my parenting vest tonight.....let me set the stage for my most embarrassing parenting moment ever:

Our church is hosting the Southwest Association meetings for the North American Baptist Conference this weekend. Basically this means that pastors from churches in Kansas, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Missouri are using our building to hold association business meetings. Tonight the church hosted a banquet for everyone with a speaker to follow. Tables and chairs were set up in half the sanctuary and the food was delicious. Unfortunately, childcare was not available until AFTER the banquet. Things may be different next time we host the SWA meetings.......

So, here's the funny part ---

Our pastor, Dennis, stood up with a microphone right in front of our table and gave a brief welcome before opening the evening in prayer. During his welcome, he announced that a member of our congregation was a very gifted PIANIST and would play a piece before the meal. Flora was sitting directly in front of Dennis as he was talking. As he made this announcement, she looked at me, snickered, and said, "PENIS?"
Ohmygosh......
I turned pink and told Flora to "shh" but kept a straight face. Thinking I hadn't heard her properly, she said, "PENIS, Mommy?"
Did you know that 2-year-olds only have one volume when they talk? Just because everyone else is silent does not mean that they will speak in hushed tones. I was probably a bright fuchsia at this point and again hushed Flora but my straight face was quickly cracking. (By the way, if you're curious, you can read a whole post about why Flora even knows the word "penis" here.)
The final straw came when she giggled, pointed at Dennis, and said, "Mommy, that man say PENIS!"
Luckily, Dennis chose that moment to start praying so I had an excuse to hide my bright red face while I composed my silent giggles.

I don't know if anyone understood what Flora was saying. I only asked two people and neither of them had heard it, but I'm fairly certain that Dennis must have heard her. Whether all 50 people heard her or no one heard her but me, I was definitely embarrassed. Once we arrived home, Flora and I had a little talk about how we only talk about penises at home. She flippantly said, "Oh, okay" but I have a feeling she's going to embarrass me again someday with that word.....
Of course, Scout couldn't let me have my most embarrassing moment with Flora alone, so he decided to push the loud buttons on his little truck in the middle of Dennis's prayer -- just to be sure that EVERYONE in the room knew that there were toddlers present.
Now, I don't want to seem like a know-it-all or a pushy mom so all I'll say is that none of this would have happened if the kids had been in the nursery during the banquet......just sayin'.