Never Say Never

Things I never expected to do:

1. Hold a book in one hand and read to my toddler while using my other arm to deter my baby from joining his sister on the potty.

2. Give my toddler cookies as a bribe to be good and quiet in the store.

3. Clean poop out of the bathtub.

4. Get excited over the fact that my baby can go from a standing position to a sitting position without falling over.

5. Barney. Elmo. Dora.

6. Spend chunks of my day on the floor acting as a human jungle gym.

7. Read parenting magazines.

8. Memorize all of Sandra Boynton's books. My personal fav....But Not the Hippopotamus.

9. Actually consider homeschooling (for a very brief moment).

10. Count the hours until bedtime and then miss the little rascals once they are asleep.

Mirror Mirror

Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you. - Daniel Raeburn

I didn't realize all the silly things I did until Flora started imitating me. Apparently, I am quite the drama queen when it comes to stinky diapers!!

Flora found a clean diaper and entertained herself for a while by changing her baby doll's diaper. She used a kleenex as a wipe and actually did a good job of putting the diaper on the doll. When she was done putting it on, she scrunched up her face and took the diaper off with plenty of loud "Ew's" and "Gwoss's." Using only two fingers held way out in front of her, she carried the "dirty" diaper over to the diaper genie, continuing to say "Gwoss" and "Ew" along the way.

After the "gwoss" diaper was properly disposed of, Flora took off her pants, fell on the floor, and rolled around with her toys for a while. She can't be a grown up all the time. . . .and I promise she didn't learn that from me!!

Who's the Boss?

Mama, sit!
Mama, read!
Mama, bite!
Mama, change diaper (or "chin di")!
Mama, outside!

She's a bossy little thing. Of course, being almost two WHOLE years old, each of these commands is promptly followed by a long, annoying "ehhhhhhhhhhhhh" if I don't obey immediately. Resistance is futile.

Of course I don't give in to every one of Flora's whims just to avoid the dreaded "ehhhhhhhhhhhh," but sometimes the temptation is just too strong and I cave.

"Sure, Flora. You can have eleven cookies before dinner, just stop making that noise!!!"

New mothers should be given earplugs at the hospital. Earplugs, kneepads, and a strong piece of leather to bite when the "ehhhhhhhhhhhhh's" get too unbearable.

Haha---I'm complaining, but she's really not so bad. I have a feeling that we are only experiencing the tip of the "ehhhhhhhhhhhh" iceberg right now. I've heard all the horror stories about the 2's and 3's.....

I'd better stock up on cookies.

Little Grown-Ups

Today Flora put the laptop bag over her shoulder and her pink pony purse on her elbow, grabbed her "baby" with her free hand, kissed Scout on the head, told me bye-bye....... and asked for the keys.

Meanwhile, Scout was learning that if he climbs onto Flora's chair he can get up on the couch. He can't even walk and he's trying to climb onto the couch. I see a lot of bumps and bruises in his future.....at least Flora should be able to drive him to the emergency room if I'm busy.

In that last, horrible hour before bedtime, Flora turned into Miss Whiny-Pants and nearly drove me crazy. All was forgiven when I spied her and Scout lying on their stomachs with their heads together over a book. Flora was "reading" to Scout and pointing at the pictures saying, "Flo Flo" and "Scout." Too bad it was a My Little Pony book.....Scout might not appreciate being mistaken for Sparkleworks later in life.

Smile! Or not.....

We all love gorgeous pictures of beautiful children, but sometimes the camera captures some not-so-glamorous moments. I always have a good laugh when I look back on Flora's less than flattering shots, so I thought I'd share a few. Enjoy!

Flora was a pretty baby, but it's hard to be cute when you fall asleep with your mouth wide open. Look at those cheeks! I know, I know....."babies are ALWAYS cute!" But seriously, everyone knows that is not true. This picture is just FUNNY.

These next two pictures are some of my all-time favorites for worst pictures ever. In Flora's defense, she was still very new and inexperienced at the whole photo session thing.

The crossed eyes really makes these pictures hilarious!

If she ever turns into an image-obsessed teenager, I will whip out these two pics to bring her back down to earth!!

When you are two months old, things can get messy. I'm not sure why I even took this picture. Obviously we were in the middle of one of my "photo shoots" and she spit up all over her shirt. Did I think it was cute? Probably.

I don't know how to rotate this picture. That's irritating. Please send me a message if you know how. I had to post it anyway since it is such a good representation of Flora's chunky phase. She was still adorable when she was chunky, but some of my attempts at artistic close-ups didn't turn out quite as nice as I'd hoped. The snotty nose and messy face make this a classic.

Also during the chunky phase --- and looking confused.
"Wait. What's my line??"


This terrible picture is actually not Flora's fault at all. Chris dressed her in this outfit. No one could take a cute picture dressed like this!!


This is what happens when you wake up from a long nap and try to undress yourself.


"Geez, Mom! I'm trying to take a bath here! Enough with the camera!"

Flora just LOVES her new raincoat.....can't you tell?


TRAIN WRECK! Again, WHY did I take a picture of this?

I've posted this picture before on the blog, but it's funny enough to revisit!! Pureed green beans look good on you, Flora!

And last, but not least.......this picture is priceless. The eyes, the mouth, the tomato sauce and the fork all blend together to create a visual train wreck. It's just lovely.

A Pinch for a Push

Let's see.....today Flora has pushed Scout down from his standing position twice, sat on him while he was crawling, tried to STAND on his back while he was lying down, and hit him over the head with a plastic baseball bat. He can crawl after her now, but rarely ever catches her. When he does get his hands on her---WATCH OUT!! He will pinch her cheeks, pull her hair, and bite her knees if she'll stay still long enough. I think he's looking for a wrestling buddy closer to his own size than Daddy. Scout actually makes Flora cry more often than she makes him cry. But they do love each other.....really, they do.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Today was a good day. I counted for Sara and found Bryan's belly button. Scout pulled my hair and made me cry. It's okay though.....when Mom wasn't looking I pushed him down on the ground and made HIM cry. Somehow Mom found out....I think Toby must have tattled.

It was church day today, so I got to see all of my friends and play with toys all morning. Scout came in the nursery with me today for the very first time. It was fun having him in there. I was a good big sister and took extra special care of him. The nursery ladies didn't know all the things Scout likes, so it's a good thing I was there. Daddy chased me after church. He's so silly.

Guess what I saw on TV today!!?? A bug!! It was SO FUNNY.

Aunt Sara put some of her lipstick on me. I am such a big girl. I wonder if Scout got any lipstick? Probably not....he's too little. He's so little that he can't drink milk like me or eat crackers like me. Mom says I shouldn't sit on him because he's too little, but I usually do it anyway. He smiles, so I think he likes it.

Since I was having such a good day I got REALLY mad when it was time to go to bed. I did not want to give kisses or say goodnight. Mom was going to take me to bed without any goodnight kisses since I was being so grumpy, but I finally convinced her that I would be nice if she would let me kiss Scout goodnight. Aunt Sara made Scout dance in the air and it was SO FUNNY that I forgot about being mad. I kissed Scout and Sara and Bryan and Daddy and waved goodnight to everyone.

Tomorrow we are going to the zoo again! I don't remember the zoo, but I'm sure I'll love it. I'll probably see a monkey and maybe even a bug!! I wonder if Scout will go or if he's too little? Hmmm......I hope he gets to go. I think he would really like the giraffes.

I wish I could open the cabinet doors. There must be some really great stuff in there.....

~Flora~

Flashback

Flora was 13 1/2 months old when Scout was born, so there were some really challenging times at the beginning. Honestly, the details of December and January have mysteriously disappeared from my memory, but I know it was cold outside and I was busy and tired inside. I wish I would have had a blog in those days, but at least I have tons of pictures!


There is one particularly LOL moment that stands out from the blur of diapers and feedings and baby cries. I don't remember the day or the circumstances, but I know that I was changing Scout's diaper when he was still very new. I finished with the diaper and was startled and pleasantly surprised to hear a soft "Yea!" and Flora's applause. It was unexpected and it made me laugh. It was exactly what I needed.

Better Than a Bathtub

Flora found Scout's little plastic bathtub today and thought it a wonderful new toy. She sat in it, pushed it around, gave her babies pretend baths in it, and attempted to put Scout in it. I would have taken pictures of all this, but my camera is dead.

*moment of silence*

As fun as the bathtub was in its upright position, the full potential of the bathtub was not realized until she turned it over. Upside-down, the bathtub had just enough of an incline to be an acceptable substitute for a real slide. Poor little Flora ecstatically slid down the bathtub over and over, yelling "SLIDE! SLIDE!"

But don't feel too sorry for her. She is getting this slide soon.
Maybe even this weekend. I'm trying to arrange a meeting location and pick-up time with a man named Bill.Bill is going to make Flora a very happy little girl.

Feed Your Own Baby, Flora!

Today, Flora began referring to Scout as "Scouty." I have no idea why. NO ONE calls him Scouty, but apparently Flora does now. Very strange. I guess I don't mind if she calls him that as long as he doesn't become Scouty to everyone. Nobody wants to be a Scouty.

Also, Flora tried nursing her baby doll for the first time today. I knew it would happen eventually. Actually, she wanted ME to nurse her baby while I was feeding Scout, but I politely suggested that she feed her own baby. She lifted up her shirt, put the baby on her belly button and said, "Num num num." And that was that.

Scout is scooting everywhere now and I keep forgetting that he MOVES. I'll leave the room with Flora to get something and come back to find him halfway down the hallway looking for us. It's so weird. At least I haven't lost him yet.

Here are just two pics from our Colorado vacation. MANY more pictures are on my facebook page available HERE.

Now, where did I put that doll???

I really love it when Flora plays by herself when I'm in the room. It's so funny to watch how her little mind works.

Today, her mission was to gather her baby dolls, blankets, sippy cup, an empty plastic cup, her pacifier, and a monkey together on the recliner with herself in the middle of it all. It sounds simple enough, but it was not simple at all. It was very amusing to watch her put everything on the chair, climb onto the recliner and knock a few things off on the way up, and climb back down to retrieve the fallen items. Of course, climbing down also knocked things off.

Once she finally settled herself onto the chair with everything on board, she started looking for one specific baby doll and had to get off the chair and knock everything else off in order to find the doll.

*big sigh*
Start over.